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Sexytime With Borat
On the eve of his feature film debut, Borat, Kazakhstan's second most famous TV journalist, mounts a charm offensive.

By Mark Salisbury

JAGSHEMASH! In case you've missed Borat Sagdiyev on HBO's Da Ali G Show, now's your chance to be offended along with hordes of viewers and the entire country of Kazakhstan. The former-while initially and rightfully appalled-usually end up laughing when they get the joke. The latter? Well, let's just say that Borat shouldn't plan on carrying the Kazakhstani flag in the 2008 Olympics.

The brainchild and alter ego of British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat is an eager journalist from Kazakhstan who travels around the United States, hoping to learn more about Western traditions and values. Along the way, as he waxes anti-Semitic and misogynistic, he discovers that some Americans actually share his beliefs.

In his first feature film, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, the lusty would-be Mr. Pam Anderson wildly stretches the limits of good taste. So, why should he do anything different here?

PREMIERE: What did you think of America? Did you enjoy your time here while making your movie?

I like very much America, although some things was surprise to me. In the one hands, it very advance nation, where everyone can have gun and criminals is terminate by electricity (this was try one time in our capital city Almaty, but the drain on power cause all our streetlights to go out for 14 hour until the shoplifter was finally finish), but at same time some things is very backward. For examples, there is no curfew for criminals, retards, and women. This situation have not exist in Kazakhstan for over eight hundreds year now.

Although I enjoy very much make filmings in America, at end I was become homesicks for Kazakhstan. Mostly I was miss do the normal family things, like watch porno with my teenage sons (Bilak, Bilam, and Hooeylewis) and their children. Also for the three weeks I was in US and A I did not make a romance explosion inside a lady even one time, so obvious this make me miss my sister very much too.

PREMIERE: What did you think of the Americans you met while making the film?

Most peoples I meet in US and A was very kind, although in Washington DCs I was attack in my anoos by a tribe called The Gays, who I later discover was homosexuals. In Kazakhstan this could not happen as all loolee-loolees is force to wear blue hats, which just goes to shows that not all good ideas is come from America.

PREMIERE: Do you worry that you might upset people when you speak your mind so frankly, especially when talking about sex?

I very, very careful never to say anything about womens that people may find offensives. If I have ever upset anyone, by for examples, comparing a woman favorable to a dog, or failing to compliment a man on his wife's tit, then I apologize. I also very aware of what appropriate for childrens and I never talks about making sexytime in front of anyone younger than two years.

PREMIERE: Are you aware that some people might find your comments racist? And sexist?

This ridiculous. Only people who could possibly spread such lies is dirty Jews and women whose simple minds they have poisoned.

PREMIERE: And anti-Semitic?

What it mean "anti-Semitic"? We do not have this phrase in Kazakhstan.

PREMIERE: Did you enjoy your experience in Cannes promoting the movie?

I liked much travel to Cannes, where I was please to find that the beach is not just for men, but for prostitutes also. It may just be propaganda of French government, but I was told that the ones in France are the cleanest and best value in Europe (apart, of course from the Swiss). As well promote my own film in Cannes, I was also instruct by the Kazakh government to view the latest Hollywood movies. As result of this, I am proud to say that DVDs of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Cars was all being produced in my country before they was even released in American theaters. I would like take this opportunity of saying how nice I was treat at Cannes. Of course the French has long history of making welcome foreigners, including in 1970s Persia's glorious Shah and in 1940s Germany's kindly General Hitler.

PREMIERE: There have been reports that some people in Kazakhstan are upset by the movie, that it portrays your country in a bad, disrespectful way. What are your thoughts about this?

This ridiculous Jew lie. This film have already been greatest blockbusters success ever in history of Kazakh cinema — it open simultaneous on all seven of our nation's screens and take top spot from Hollywood movie King Kong, which had been number-one film in Kazakhstan ever since it was release in 1932.