Oscar quotes

For your pleasure on awards weekend, a list of quotes I collected for an Oscar party invite a few years back:

“In the mythology of the cinema, the Oscar is the supreme prize.”
– Federico Fellini

“It’s the intellectual rutting season, a thoroughly awful and debasing time.”
– Dalton Trumbo

“If you win, by the end of May it’s not such a big deal. If you don’t win, it’s not such a big deal either.”
– Billy Wilder

“You can’t eat awards-nor, more to the point, drink ‘em.”
– John Wayne

“I don’t care about the Oscars. I make movies to support the causes I believe in, not for any honors.”
– Jane Fonda

“If you have no hope of getting one, they’re very despised. But if you have, then they’re very important.”
– David Lean

“Prizes are nothing. My prize is my work.”
– Katherine Hepburn

“If you’re lucky enough to win an Oscar, never polish it with cleaning solvents. Dusting him off now and then is all you need to do.”
– Scott Seigel, president of Chicago-based Oscar manufacturer R.S. Owens

“These two ritualistically dumpy men reassure us that, in spite of the vast rewards to be gained by irregularity, our interests as a people are being protected. There still may be a surprise winner; God and the Devil still exist.”
– David Mamet, On Price Waterhouse Managing Partners Frank Johnson & Dan Lyle

“I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don’t.”
– Woody Allen

“It was just a small group getting together for a pat on the back.”
– Janet Gaynor, Best Actress [For Wings], 1928

“After the Oscar I was convinced producers would come pounding on my door with all sorts of exciting parts.”
– Rita Moreno, Best Supporting Actress [For West Side Story], 1961

“It might be a good career move to be present.”
– Sydney Portier, Best Actor Nominee [For Lilies Of The Field], 1963

“I want that Oscar. I want to be the first to win three!”
– Bette Davis, Best Actress Nominee [for Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?], 1962

“Just think, you can actually see the losers turn green.”
– Bob Hope, On The First Ceremony Televised In Color, 1965

“I would rather have a good three-man basketball game than sit here in my monkey suit.”
– Elliott Gould, Best Actor Nominee [For M*A*S*H], 1969

“Thanks. You’re applauding my stamina.”
– Cary Grant, Honorary Oscar Recipient, 1969

“Peculiar as it may seem, I mean no disrespect to the academy. I simply do not wish to be involved.”
– George C. Scott, best actor nominee [for Patton], 1970

“Oh my God, the winner is George C. Scott!”
– Best Actor Presenter Goldie Hawn, 1970

“Nothing would disgust me more morally than winning an Oscar. Nothing in the world would make me go accept it. I wouldn’t have it in my home.”
– Luis Bunuel, Director Of Best Foreign Film Nominee Tristana, 1970

“Hello, my name is Sacheen Littlefeather.”
– Bit-Part Actress [And Miss American Vampire 1970] Maria Cruz, Declining Marlon Brando’s Best Actor Award [For The Godfather], 1972

“In recent years there has been a great deal of criticism about this award, and probably a great deal of the criticism is very justified. But I’d just like to say that I think it’s one hell of an honor and I am thrilled.”
– Jack Lemmon, Best Actor [For Save The Tiger], 1973

“The Academy should fold its tent and go back to baking apple strudel or whatever they can do well. The Exorcist is head and shoulders the finest film made this year or in several years.”
– William Peter Blatty, 1973

“Watching it in my hotel suite, I kept telling myself that I ought to turn it off and go to bed. I felt disgusted with myself.”
– Glenda Jackson, Best Actress [For A Touch Of Class], 1973

“Just think: The only laugh that man will get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.”
– Presenter David Niven, Post-Streaker, 1973

“It’s ironic to get a prize for a war movie while the war is still going on. I hope my children grow up in a better atmosphere and in a better country.”
– Peter Davis, Best Documentary Feature Winner [For Hearts And Minds], 1973

“If only half the actresses with whom he’s had affairs vote for him, he’ll win by their ballots alone.”
– Unidentified Actress, On Best Actor Nominee [For Chinatown] Jack Nicholson, 1974

“The Academy Awards are obscene, dirty, and no better than a beauty contest.”
– Dustin Hoffman, Best Actor Nominee [for Kramer vs. Kramer], 1974

“If Dustin wins, he’s going to have a friend pick it up-George C. Scott.”
– Bob Hope, 1974

“He has no genitalia and he’s holding a sword.”
– Dustin Hoffman, Best Actor, 1974

“It’s all a lot of crap, but as long as it’s there….”
– Robert Duvall, Best Supporting Actor Nominee [For The Godfather], 1974

“It was like pumps trying to say that they’re more important than the well and the water. Last night, it was pumps giving pumps awards for being good pumps.”
– One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest Author Ken Kesey, 1975

“I can’t believe it. They went for Fellini instead of me.”
– Non-Nominee [For Jaws] Steven Spielberg, 1975

“We want to thank all of you for watching ourselves congratulate ourselves tonight.”
– Warren Beatty, 1976

“I think you should be very proud that in the last few weeks you have stood firm and you have refused to be intimidated by the threats of a small bunch of Zionist hoodlums whose behavior is an insult to the stature of Jews all over the world and to their great and heroic struggle against fascism and oppression.”
– Vanessa Redgrave, Best Supporting Actress [For Julia], 1977

“I would like to suggest to Miss Redgrave that her winning an Academy Award is not a pivotal moment in history, does not require a proclamation, and that a simple thank you would have sufficed.”
– Paddy Chayevsky, 1977

“It’s insane to have winners and losers in art. To say that one performance is better than another is just plain dumb. You wouldn’t think of comparing two colors in a painting, would you? ‘This blue is better than that blue’?”
– Meryl Streep, Best Supporting Actress Nominee [For The Deer Hunter], 1978

“I accept this for every guy in a wheelchair.”
– Jon Voight, Best Actor [For Coming Home], 1978

“It’s done wonders for my sex life.”
– Ron Kovic, 1978

“I want to take this opportunity to say how proud I am of my little brother, my dear, sweet, talented brother. Just imagine what you could accomplish if you tried celibacy.”
– Shirley Maclaine, On Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, And Best Adapted Screenplay Loser [For Heaven Can Wait] Warren Beatty, 1978

“Make no mistake about it, the Oscar ceremony is now intentionally designed to inflict as much pain and suffering as possible on both its participants and its viewers.”
– Vincent Canby, 1982

“This is all connected to Oscar nominations-we may as well be honest about it. I was paid $50,000 for Garp, and now I make half a million. That may not be much if you’re Robert Redford, but that’s a lot of money to me.”
– John Lithgow, Best Supporting Actor Nominee [For The World According To Garp], 1983

“I hate tooting my own horn, but after Steven [Spielberg] saw Yentl, he said, ‘I wish I could tell you how to fix your picture, but I can’t. It’s terrific. It’s the best film I’ve seen since Citizen Kane.’ ”
– Non-Nominee Barbra Streisand, 1983

“I’m up against two Orientals-one of them an amateur-a black guy, and a dead man.”
– John Malkovich, Best Supporting Actor Nominee [For Places In The Heart], 1983

“AIDS action! 102,000 dead!”
– Ceremony Disrupter David Lacaillade, 1983

“I’m gonna cry, because this show has been as long as my entire career.”
– Shirley Maclaine, Best Actress [For Terms Of Endearment], 1984

“All you rock people down at the Roxy and up in the Rockies, rock on!”
– Jack Nicholson, Best Supporting Actor [For Terms Of Endearment], 1984

“It’s like chasing a beautiful woman for 80 years. Finally she relents and you say, ‘I’m terribly sorry, I’m tired.’ ”
– Paul Newman, Best Actor [For The Color Of Money], 1986

“If New York is the Big Apple, then tonight Hollywood is the Big Nipple.”
– Bernardo Bertolucci, Best Director [For The Last Emperor], 1987

“It’s very easy for people to trivialize what we do. They say, ‘If it’s such a big deal, how come nobody remembers who won the Oscar last year?’ But I’ve got a real flash for you. I will never forget what happened here tonight. My family will never forget. And my Native American brothers and sisters across the country will never forget.”
– Kevin Costner, Best Director And Best Producer [For Dances With Wolves], 1990

“Much as I love the Oscar- night pageantry, it’s just a silly bingo game.”
– Jodie Foster, Best Actress [For Silence Of The Lambs], 1992

“My God, they’ve put in everything but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”
– Anonymous Publicist, On Best Picture Nomination For Ghost, 1991